What Right Have I?

"Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life. It turns what we have into enough, and more. It turns denial into acceptance, chaos to order, confusion to clarity. It can turn a meal into a feast, a house into a home, a stranger into a friend. Gratitude makes sense of our past, brings peace for today, and creates a vision for tomorrow." ~Melody Beattie

What right have I to complain, to whine, or to feel discouraged? To do so would be to say to God, "I say that I have faith, but I do not fully trust You. This path You've chosen for me is not good enough for me." It would be as if to say, "You do not satisfy - I am looking for contentment in something apart from You."

To look at it that way brings a whole new perspective. I've been struggling through a period of discontent, a phase of impatience with a life that somehow seems to be on "pause." Yet the choice to view my life that way is mine and mine alone - if I choose to "pause" in life because this IS happening or this ISN'T happening, that is my mistake to own. God has passed every single breath, every moment of my life through His loving hands and has gifted me with it - what right do I have to squander it or gripe about the parts of it that I don't particularly like?

Sometimes I wonder if I am the only one who gets stuck in moments of focusing on what I don't have rather than what I do. It's so easy to get off track. Yet I am so blessed. I am healthy. I have a job that I love, even if right now is a stressful time. I was raised by two incredible Christian parents who are still together and who have always sought the best for me and from me. I have a wonderful sister who, in adulthood, has become one of my dearest friends. I have a brother-in-law who looks out for me in his own little "big brother" kind of way, and I have a spunky redheaded niece who makes me laugh and fills my heart with love. I have a loving church family, a home, pets, friends - truly, I have all that I need and much that I want. Why must I focus on what I don't have?

The truth is, I found myself wandering through a number of blogs today that told the stories of people I don't even know. Two recently lost their precious children to illness. One is recovering after a private plane crash caused burns to over 80% of her body. Others are facing family members or friends with illnesses, job losses, or any number of other struggles - yet even still, I was struck by the overwhelming sense of trust in God and surrender to the perfection of His plan no matter what. It put me to shame.

I bought a book Saturday called One Month to Live: Thirty Days to a No Regrets Life. Some in my church are studying it in fellowship groups, but I missed the start of that. I fought the draw to the book at first, thinking the title itself sounded so morbid. Yet God's voice kept pulling me closer and I know He wants me to look at things from a new perspective in coming days. The first line on the back of the book states: "Stop living like it doesn't matter." That just about says it all - I've been living with my finger on the pause button, taking it off for only moments at a time when something I wanted fell into place. It's time that I take my fingers off the controls altogether and fully live life NOW.