A Mix & Match of Thoughts...

"You have been my friend. That in itself is a tremendous thing. I wove my webs for you because I liked you. After all, what's a life, anyway? We're born, we live a little while, we die. A spider's life can't help being something of a mess, with all this trapping and eating flies. By helping you, perhaps I was trying to lift up my life a trifle. Heaven knows anyone's life can stand a little of that."
~ E.B. White (Charlotte in Charlotte's Web)

I'll just start out being honest that for some reason, gratefulness for blessings is not coming as easy as it should or as it has. I've nothing to complain about nor anything upsetting me. I'm not even in a particularly bad mood. There's just this little twinge of discontent in the back of my heart and mind this weekend, and though I refuse to relinquish myself to its power, it's there nonetheless. My life is so wonderful and yet it is not where I would imagine or dream it would be at this point, so on occasion, I admit that I get a little wistful about that. God has a great plan for my life and I have faith in it, though. (Sometimes I just wish that I'd get to look into the "viewfinder" to see it with a little more clarity and insight!) Anyway, I thought about not posting tonight but I am really trying to post at least once a week. Besides, I tend to hold myself back from people nowadays (I know - those of you who knew me as a teenager can't even imagine that!) and somehow it's easier here to not hold back - and though the focus of my blog is on blessings, it's also real life. And without the "not so" blessing-filled moments, how do we truly and deeply learn appreciation for the other?

OK, enough of that. In my last post, I talked about resolutions and somewhere in there, God called me to name a blessing for each and every ornament or decoration I packed away from Christmas. Though my home is small and I didn't think I had that many decorations in comparison to some, I had more than I thought! I had random pieces scattered and then my Christmas trees. I am a bit OCD and so my main Christmas tree is always a balanced color theme (silver & blue this year) but then I have a smaller Christmas tree in another room where I put mismatched ornaments, especially those from friends, family, and student over the years. I lost count when I got to 400 and still wasn't even close to done (why did I hang all those tiny silver bells and crosses on the big tree?). But I was committed to what I felt was a true calling from God, and named blessings all the way through. I think they may have gotten a little comical toward the very end, but hey, I was still grateful for even the laughs. :-) I liked two things about doing this. First, it made taking down the Christmas decorations nearly as fun as putting them up - that's a new thing for me! Second, it really did help me think about all the blessings of 2008 and life in general in preparation for looking toward 2009. I think I'll continue to do this. I was wishing in the midst of it that I had other family members to help me with it ... or that perhaps somehow my cat vocalizations could count as well ... but I needed this new tradition. I can't wait to someday start it when I am surrounded by more.

That brings me to the quotation with which I began. As I was naming my blessings, so many friends' names, both past and present, came to mind. I thought about the many who have been tremendous friends to me and lifted my life a little (or a lot) over the years - either by helping me or letting me help them. God has allowed my life's path to cross with so many phenomenal people and I could never fully express my gratitude to each and every one. So to all of you who have blessed my life with your beloved friendship, know that my heart is a thankful one.

Pause to be Grateful

"Count your blessings. Once you realize how valuable you are and how much you have going for you, the smiles will return, the sun will break out, the music will play, and you will finally be able to move forward the life that God intended for you with grace, strength, courage, and confidence"
~ Og Mandino

I have an issue with New Year's Resolutions. I suppose that I always have, but for some reason, this year it has really exploded in my mind as the end of 2008 approached. Don't get me wrong - I am all for self-improvement. I think that we will always be "works in progress" until the very last day of our lives. God will always have a new work to do in us for as long as we're seeking Him. My problem with resolutions is two-fold: First, why do we limit ourselves to one time of year to set all these life-changing goals? I don't know about you, but I tend to set such big or such numerous goals that I am bombarded and despite my great intentions, I typically fall short on most of my resolutions after a few weeks. Why can't we learn from the futility of past year's resolutions and change the way that we approach them? This year, I think I will try that. I'm going to try "new month resolutions" as each month changes. I'll let you know how it goes.

My second problem with resolutions at the start of a new year is probably the bigger of the two, and it is that the whole atmosphere of making them seems so negative. It's almost this air of "here is everything I hate about my life right now and how I am going to fix it." Again, don't get me wrong - I think change and improvement are good things. Yet it seems that any reflection on all that is GREAT in our lives is missing. We spend all this time talking about the goals we have for 2009, and in doing so, 2008 gets swept under the rug with nary a second glance. Why can't our resolutions, in whatever form they may take, begin with a "time out" of sorts to reflect upon all the blessings that were a part of our lives in the past year? Imagine what power that simple act of savoring the good could have in starting our years with hearts truly readied to approach new goals because they are fueled with joy and hope!!

So my first resolution will be to do just that. I've finally dragged all the Christmas decoration containers in from the garage, and am ready to tackle that mammoth task. I'm going to enjoy a quiet house while I work and allow my heart to be still before God. For each ornament or decoration I place into its container, may I name a blessing in my life. Through it may I gain a right perspective and appreciation for 2008, and sift through priorities to know what goals God has for me in 2009.

With that, I wish you a Happy New Year a couple of days late, and leave you with my prayer for you, borrowed from an Irish Blessing:

May your days be many and your troubles be few.
May all God's blessings descend upon you.
May peace be within you may your heart be strong.
May you find what you're seeking wherever you roam.

"There is a calmness to a life lived in gratitude, a quiet joy." ~ Ralph H. Blum

Just a short post today ... I love this quote and the meaning within it. I have such admiration for those who possess this kind of calmness and quiet joy. I long for that kind of consistent calmness and joy. To get there, I have to practice gratitude daily and no matter the circumstances. But what faith and contentment must be the result.

My prayer for you as the Thanksgiving holiday approaches is that you will feel that calmness and joy amidst the flurry of family and meals - or within the quiet of a solitary holiday. I pray that it will be, for all of us, the foundation of a journey into a life lived in gratitude.

Happy Thanksgiving!
Blessings to you and those you love,
Sheryl

Endings

"Beginnings are usually scary and endings are usually sad, but it's the middle that counts. You have to remember this when you find yourself at the beginning." (Sandra Bullock - not sure what movie)

Today, I am thankful for endings. Strange, I know, but I am. Grudgingly grateful, yet still grateful. I got up this morning in a real mood - and after about ten minutes of putting up with myself, I had to make a decision. I could either continue to feel sorry for myself over this particular situation that did not turn out as I would have wanted (nothing tragic or even life-altering, so do not worry), or I could look for the blessings in it and move on. Obviously human nature would have had me choosing the first because it's far easier to have a pity party, but in the end, reason won out, and now here I sit, looking for the blessings.

Forgive me for not sharing more detail but in reality, the details don't matter here (it's nothing you would guess nor predict, but enough to matter to me if no one else). Endings come in all kinds of shapes and sizes, and in all forms. They can be tied to people, places, careers, or any variety of thing. Some endings are life-altering, and some are just ripples along the path. Some endings come with a loss and others come with sighs of relief. Sometimes endings can even be questionable - can something have an ending if it never had a real beginning?

I think where I am headed here is that without endings, you never get to experience new beginnings (and then new "middles"). If you refuse to embrace the endings in life, you're seated in the discomfort and awkwardness of an ending waiting to happen - and all the while, new life and growth awaits you just around the bend.

Therefore, my focus today will be anticipation of what beginnings lie ahead, whether it be next week, next month, or next year. I'd much rather spend my day in that frame of mind than lamenting what is out of my control. So today, God, I am am grateful to You for the endings.