A quick peek into the giggles and grins brought by the world's most terrific tabby cats, Tom & Jerry...
Then and Now
Posts
14 years ago
Tuesday, March 31, 2009
Monday, March 30, 2009
"Not Me!" Monday #2
**P.S. Just a side note, one of MckMama's children, Stellan, is critically ill and in the hospital. I've only recently found her blog and somewhat caught up, but her little boy is having some serious heart complications that began even while he was in utero. Even if you don't hop over to her blog, please say a prayer for this sweet baby and his family today!**
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In the past week, I most certainly did not:- watch too much TV
- weep after I had to tell a friend I could not support some current, very unhealthy decisions
- catch up on laundry, including the despise task of putting it away
- reconnect with several old friends with whom I hadn't spoken in years
- get a haircut and highlights
- battle sinus headaches with all the weather changes
- enjoy dinner with some great friends
- oversleep for church Sunday morning after somehow turning off my alarm
- wistfully miss my hometown of Amarillo during its Friday blizzard
- read the first half of My Sister's Keeper by Jodi Picoult
- congratulate a sweet friend on her engagement
- dust, vacuum, and tidy up
Sunday, March 29, 2009
Savoring the Savior
Pausing on the Sabbath to recognize and be grateful for God, His creation, and all the wonderful things He's doing!
~~~~~
March 29, 2009 - Savoring The Simple Things
~~~~~
God has given me so much more than I could ever need, and yet too often I find myself focusing on the things I DON'T have or the things I want instead. Today, my heart has been overwhelmed with the conviction to look around me with gratefulness for all the "simple things" that God has either surrounded me with naturally or given me the means to obtain.
March 29, 2009 - Savoring The Simple Things
~~~~~
God has given me so much more than I could ever need, and yet too often I find myself focusing on the things I DON'T have or the things I want instead. Today, my heart has been overwhelmed with the conviction to look around me with gratefulness for all the "simple things" that God has either surrounded me with naturally or given me the means to obtain.
- Looking out the window ... the sun is shining again, the wind is calm, and spring is peeking out again
- I am thinking ... about how grateful I am for good friends
- From my kitchen ... a tall glass of cold milk. Yum!
- I am thankful for ... the ways technology has helped to connect me to friends, both old and new
- Coziness ... my favorite black sweats, teal tank, white sweat jacket, and comfy socks
- Favorite things that surround me today ... super plush blanket, lotion, scented candles
- I am reading ... My Sister's Keeper (and have a massive stack of books to follow)
- I am praying ... that God will continue to quiet my heart and make His will for me known
- Laughter ... soothes the heart and rejuvenates the soul
- I am hoping ... that it will be a productive week - and that Friday will return quickly
- Holding close to my heart ... the dream to be a wife and mommy
- God is telling me ... that I need to invest as much time reading His word as I do reading other things. Ouch! :-)
- Simple pleasures ... my cats curling up beside me and purring, unexpected letters or emails from friends, worship music, blankets, books, ... and oh, so much more!
Saturday, March 28, 2009
Sassy Saturday #1
Today's topic: What NOT to say to your single friends
"Why aren't you married yet?"
"You are SO lucky!!"
"Your life is SO much simpler as a single."
(Um, no. No. No. I'm not saying it's any more complex. It's just not any simpler either.)
"You just haven't met the right one yet."
(Duh.)
"It will happen when you're not even looking for it."
"I know this guy/girl. S/He's single too. You two should meet."
(Because two single people are automatically a match and nothing else matters? Surely you remember that's not how it works!)
"I just WISH I could be single again."
(Yeah, we believe you. Or not.)
"God is still working on him/you. Just wait patiently."
(Implying that one of us is extremely messed up, thus that's why it's taking so long? Thanks.)
~~~~~
"Why aren't you married yet?"
"You are SO lucky!!"
"Your life is SO much simpler as a single."
(Um, no. No. No. I'm not saying it's any more complex. It's just not any simpler either.)
"You just haven't met the right one yet."
(Duh.)
"It will happen when you're not even looking for it."
"I know this guy/girl. S/He's single too. You two should meet."
(Because two single people are automatically a match and nothing else matters? Surely you remember that's not how it works!)
"I just WISH I could be single again."
(Yeah, we believe you. Or not.)
"God is still working on him/you. Just wait patiently."
(Implying that one of us is extremely messed up, thus that's why it's taking so long? Thanks.)
~~~~~
Disclaimer: I am contentedly single (most of the time). I do hope that God has marriage in store for me, and I have great faith in the plan that God has for my life AND His perfect timing. Therefore no insult or offense is intended in sharing these statements, nor am I saying that none of them hold any truth. Even the best-intended statements above, while perhaps semi-reassuring as a college student, become meaningless "token" replies as a mid-20s single. And as a 30-something single who's heard each one at least a thousand times, it ultimately reinforces the isolation of very few understanding what it's like to be 30+ and single. Encouraging words like "I'm praying for you" and "I can't wait to see the incredible love story God has in store for you" are so much more reassuring and cherished to that 25+, 30+, 40+ single than those words that somehow make them feel isolated by that chasm of singleness.
Friday, March 27, 2009
Fabulous Friday #1
It's FRIDAY!!! That means it's time for a spotlight on God's fabulous blessings!!
Today, I want to share my thankfulness for my Grandpa M, who has been walking in heaven for just under 15 years now. I miss him SO much. He and my Grandma lived in Tucson for as long as I can remember, so I did not get to see them very frequently as a kid; however, that made the visits I did have precious and memorable.
I loved so much about my Grandpa - he had a way of making a person feel like they were the only one in the room when he was talking to you. I remember him patiently watching while I climbed the lone tree in their yard (the cacti weren't really good climbing material), encouraging me along the way. I remember working with him in his vegetable garden in the backyard, and having fun when we came in making "vegetable people" from our pickings.
Most of all, though, I loved the way that he loved God. My Grandpa was a retired army chaplain, who served his country faithfully during World War II and after, attaining the rank of Lieutenant Colonel. Later, he worked as pastor and chaplain, faithfully serving God even years after his "retirement." I know he retired, but it seems that he was still doing something to serve God up until he became so sick.
My Grandpa was a quiet man, and so when he spoke, everybody listened because we knew what he had to say was important. I can't remember ever hearing a word of complaint coming from my Grandpa. I am sure it did, but I can't recall it, which to me is indicative of the gentle positive spirit with which he approached life. He was humble, loyal, and oh-so kind. How did this precious man manage to keep his head and spirit always lifted toward God, even when life was tough? Oh, how I wish that he'd lived long enough for me to truly appreciate and seek some of his words of wisdom for living a life fully devoted to God.
If I silence the world around me, especially at Christmas time, I can almost hear his voice reading the story of Christ's birth. It was tradition in the M house on Christmas morning to read that story together so our hearts would be in tune with the real celebration of the day. Of course as a child, I was impatient and wanted to get to the gifts, but as I grew older, I savored the moments of hearing him read the story. His voice always seemed to crack at certain points of the story, and in those moments he was so transparent you could almost read his mind spinning with gratitude for a Father who loved us enough to give us His beloved Son, and for a Son who loved us enough to step into human form. What I would give to sit beside him just one more time and hear him read those words.
My Grandpa M was a tremendous man of God and a loving, giving grandfather. I will miss him dearly until the time comes, but I am so blessed in the confidence that I will one day be reunited with my sweet Grandpa.
I loved so much about my Grandpa - he had a way of making a person feel like they were the only one in the room when he was talking to you. I remember him patiently watching while I climbed the lone tree in their yard (the cacti weren't really good climbing material), encouraging me along the way. I remember working with him in his vegetable garden in the backyard, and having fun when we came in making "vegetable people" from our pickings.
Most of all, though, I loved the way that he loved God. My Grandpa was a retired army chaplain, who served his country faithfully during World War II and after, attaining the rank of Lieutenant Colonel. Later, he worked as pastor and chaplain, faithfully serving God even years after his "retirement." I know he retired, but it seems that he was still doing something to serve God up until he became so sick.
My Grandpa was a quiet man, and so when he spoke, everybody listened because we knew what he had to say was important. I can't remember ever hearing a word of complaint coming from my Grandpa. I am sure it did, but I can't recall it, which to me is indicative of the gentle positive spirit with which he approached life. He was humble, loyal, and oh-so kind. How did this precious man manage to keep his head and spirit always lifted toward God, even when life was tough? Oh, how I wish that he'd lived long enough for me to truly appreciate and seek some of his words of wisdom for living a life fully devoted to God.
If I silence the world around me, especially at Christmas time, I can almost hear his voice reading the story of Christ's birth. It was tradition in the M house on Christmas morning to read that story together so our hearts would be in tune with the real celebration of the day. Of course as a child, I was impatient and wanted to get to the gifts, but as I grew older, I savored the moments of hearing him read the story. His voice always seemed to crack at certain points of the story, and in those moments he was so transparent you could almost read his mind spinning with gratitude for a Father who loved us enough to give us His beloved Son, and for a Son who loved us enough to step into human form. What I would give to sit beside him just one more time and hear him read those words.
My Grandpa M was a tremendous man of God and a loving, giving grandfather. I will miss him dearly until the time comes, but I am so blessed in the confidence that I will one day be reunited with my sweet Grandpa.
P.S. I can't finish this post without saying that each of my other 3 Grandparents has been just as instrumental in my life in various ways, and I am certain I will share about them at some point. It's just that I had my Grandpa M on my mind today, so I couldn't let the moment to share a glimpse of him with the world pass me by.
Thursday, March 26, 2009
Truth-Filled Thursday #1
I have told you these things, so that in Me you may have peace.
In this world you will have trouble.
But take heart!
I have overcome the world.
John 16:33
(NIV)
What an encouragement this verse is in ALL times. It's always struck me that God doesn't say "if" you have trouble. He says you WILL have trouble. Even so, God is far bigger any absolutely any trouble that might come our way. So even in those moments when troubles seem too much to bear or too heavy to handle, peace and strength comes in knowing that God is more powerful than any of it. Now in life is good for me - nothing aside from normal annoyances and such - but I've walked through my fair share of troubled times, and as a result, every single day this verse inspires me and brings me endless peace because God is enough. He is enough!
Wednesday, March 25, 2009
Tuesday, March 24, 2009
Tabby Tuesday #1
A quick peek into the giggles and grins brought by the world's most terrific tabby cats, Tom & Jerry...
A Fresh Start ... snuggled up under the Christmas tree as precious, living gifts.Sunday, March 22, 2009
"Not Me" Monday!
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In celebration of "Not me!" Monday as well as the first day back to the grind after a glorious nine days of spring break, here are my reflections on the past week:I most certainly did not....
~ Stay up until past 2 AM almost every night.
~ Sleep in till 8 almost every morning. (Where are the days of youth when I could sleep till noon?)
~ Read Jodi Picoult's newest book plus several others
~ Send my sister a 40th birthday present.
~ Open so many new blog windows that I had to restart Firefox - several times.
~ Enjoy peaceful time relaxing with my two snuggly tabby cats, Tom & Jerry.
~ Watch way too much TV.
~ Fall in love with "Eleventh Hour" and "Lie to Me" after watching the backlog of them on the DVR.
~ Have a great time with friends at dinners, movies, and such during the week.
~ Finally catch up on entering receipts and bills paid in Quicken.
~ Tell myself that I was going to start my disciplined exercise habit this week - then fail miserably.
~ Brainstorm places where I can take a quick, inexpensive vacation this summer.
~ Talk to my precious little niece about her beach discovery and resulting adoption of Hermie the hermit crab.
~ Get frustrated while browsing for a new place to live come August.
~ Get even more frustrated with apartment maintenance because they "weatherized" by caulking all my windows SHUT!
~ Count to 100 and take deep breaths while explaining to maintenance why they should fix their "weatherizing" mistake. Somehow they didn't see the problem?!
~ Do and put away way too many loads of laundry (I was slightly behind.)
~ Wish that I had a few more days off.
What did you "not" do this week? I'd love to hear about it!
P.S. My Monday "theme" is a little up in the air right now. I've seen this on various blogs and it always makes me chuckle, so I thought I'd give it a try! :-) However, most weeks my life is fairly monotonous, so perhaps Monday's themes will rotate!
Friends, Friends, Friends!
Three posts in two days - I am on a roll!! If you're one of my dear friends who has been with me from the start, please back up a bit and read them all as time allows ... I LOVE the quotes that God used to direct me to His word and better faith over the last few days! Hopefully you'll be happy to hear that I am going to be MUCH more regular in posting now. I've been browsing through a lot of blogs over my spring break and have gotten some great ideas.
~~~~
Now, on to FRIENDS, FRIENDS, FRIENDS!!
Earlier in the month, my precious friend Mary Lee gave me a blog award that just made my day!! Actually it has made my month because I feel so undeserving of her kind words or award. You can visit her here: And Even If... Mary is a wonderful Christian lady whom I've known since sometime in elementary school (so 25 years or so!). My sister babysat her oldest three kids for a few years and then, not being too into the whole babysitting thing, she let me take over her duties when I got old enough. Mary Lee and her kind husband Randy were Sunday School teachers in our youth department and beyond that were absolutely phenomenal blessings in my life. They have been supportive friends, encouraging Christian, and wise counsel over the years. I lost touch with them for several years after college but have been SO blessed to be back in touch. THANKS for the award, Mary!Now it is MY turn to give the award away to some of my other blogging friends.
The details of blogs chosen for this award: "These blogs are exceedingly charming. These kind bloggers aim to find and be friends. They are not interested in self-aggrandizement. Our hope is that when the ribbons of these prizes are cut, even more friendships are propagated. Please give more attention to these writers. Deliver this award to eight bloggers who must choose eight more and include this cleverly-written text into the body of their award.”
I'd like to pass along this award to my eight friends below:
- Commenteri - my friend Terri from Super Summer. She is so much fun to read and always makes me chuckle! I think if we'd ever actually lived near to one another and been able to see each other more than once a year, we would be fast friends! I miss laughing with her!
- Musings from a French Fried Texan - my friend Mentanna from growing up. She never ceases to amaze me! She was one of those youth a few years older than me who I always looked up to. One thing I appreciate about Mentanna is that she has never been afraid to be silly - sometimes I wish I could be more like that!
- Thoughts I Thunk - my friend Julie from years of Super Summer, YEC, and so much more from my time with BGCT. I don't know how I discovered her blog but her thoughts always draw me closer to our Heavenly Father.
- Sturgmom in General - Like Julie, I know Amanda from all my years serving through BGCT. Also like Julie, I stumbled on Amanda's blog in some random way and am so glad I did! Her posts make me think, chuckle, or just have some fun. (Amanda, I think our TV taste might be very similar!)
- SchroFamBlog - Another dear woman of God and Christian role model from my youth. I helped (or tried to help) in kindergarten choir with Suzanne for many years and got to know her - her faith and love for the Lord is a constant inspiration to me.
- Our Adoption Journey - my friend Melissa from my first few years of teaching. I'm so glad that we've kept in touch! Melissa has two precious little girls (who love my cats) and her family is currently working through the process of adopting a little girl from China. I am so excited to see God at work in their lives!
- The Press Family - Ginger is another of my dear friends from my first few years of teaching. She, her husband, and their two little boys currently live in California but are about to relocate to Guam for three years. I am SO sad because I doubt I'll get to see her in all of that time, but at the same time I am so thrilled for what God is going to do in their lives!
- Organized Chaos - my friend Cheryl from church growing up. I lost touch with her for almost a decade and thanks to facebook, we are back in touch! What a blessing! I adore Cheryl's blog title and subtitle, mostly because I wish I'd thought of something similar first. :-)
Sheryl
It's a Blogging Party - and You're Invited!!
I am so excited to be a part of my first ever blogging party! I am somewhat new to the blogging scene and still deciding how my little blog will develop over time, but am thrilled to welcome any new readers!
Join in on the party by clicking on the button below and getting the "scoop" from 5 Minutes for Mom! You'll find my own attempts at following the blog party directions interspersed here throughout some quick and basic introductions to my blog and to me.
Join in on the party by clicking on the button below and getting the "scoop" from 5 Minutes for Mom! You'll find my own attempts at following the blog party directions interspersed here throughout some quick and basic introductions to my blog and to me.
Now that you've landed on my blog, welcome! The goal of my blog is to share my reflections as I walk down the path of life with God's guidance, and hopefully find many blessings along the way. At times I do better at focusing on the blessings than others, but I am trying! :-)
What I Am Not: mother, wife, business-woman, girlfriend (know anyone? Ha!), runner, crafting queen, insensitive, high-maintenance, thin, wealthy, and more ...
What I Am: Christian, daughter, sister, aunt, granddaughter, friend, single, teacher, organizer, avid reader, hopeful writer, cat-lover ...
Last, a few business tidbits for the blogging party regarding their give-aways. (Yes, they're giving out prizes! Click the button above to find out more!) If I win any of the drawings, here are the prizes I would most enjoy, listed in no particular order:
Happy Blogging, everyone!
What I Am Not: mother, wife, business-woman, girlfriend (know anyone? Ha!), runner, crafting queen, insensitive, high-maintenance, thin, wealthy, and more ...
What I Am: Christian, daughter, sister, aunt, granddaughter, friend, single, teacher, organizer, avid reader, hopeful writer, cat-lover ...
Last, a few business tidbits for the blogging party regarding their give-aways. (Yes, they're giving out prizes! Click the button above to find out more!) If I win any of the drawings, here are the prizes I would most enjoy, listed in no particular order:
- Life Journals, given by Mom's Toolbox
- 1 Year membership gift certificate to ListPlanIt.com
- $50 Target Gift Card, given by Agoosa
- Money Games: 85 Ways to Save Money & Attract Abundance (by Randy Petrick), given by It's a Woman's World
Happy Blogging, everyone!
Saturday, March 21, 2009
The Back Side of the Picture
I haven't blogged in awhile. I'd like to blame it on being incredibly busy (which would be accurate) but the more appropriate blame could probably be placed on the fact that God has been murmuring to me, whispering to my heart over the past few weeks and I haven't had human words to pair with the whispers. Forgive me in advance for the lengthy post (brevity has never been a strength), but the words are coming, at last:
"If you can't pray a door open, don't pry it open." ~ Lyell Rader
When I stumbled across this quotation earlier in the week, I chuckled. It was so short and almost cute in its directness. Yet as the week has gone on I've realized these were some of the very words my human mind needed to grasp hold of and use to point me purposefully into God's Word. This morning, I happened to google Rader's name because I have never heard of him. I found little beyond one additional quote. This time, the quote made me chuckle just because it was another perfect hit:
"Faith grows only in the dark. You've got to trust him when you can't trace him. That's faith." ~ Lyell Rader
Coupling these together makes me wonder - how many times have I tried to "help" God out by prying open a door that He never intended to be open in my life in the first place? I think over the course of the last decade and can't help but recognize that I have probably caused myself a great deal of pain and confusion by my own hand. True, with each struggle comes a lesson learned - but I am convicted to know that I would dare be so confident in my ability to comprehend God's will several steps down the road - so confident, in fact, that I would jump ahead of Him and step into what I "knew" to be the right path. How foolish I have been so many times! Sometimes in small things and sometimes in bigger things, but regardless, how absurd is it to think that I as a mere human could even begin to understand the grandeur and the will of an incomprehensible God!!
Those of you who know my family also know that my Mom and sister are both incredibly talented in almost anything in the creative world - drawing, cross-stitch, knitting, crochet, sewing, and so many more. Their interests are varied, yet their talent is unmistakable. I, on the other hand, am mediocre at best in any of these pursuits. I'd like to say that it's because I don't have the attention span for it and while that may be partially true (I have this need to move through a "to do" list quickly - long craft projects tend to bore me after a few days), I think that the real reason is because I am way too much a perfectionist. I have a hard time tackling projects with real commitment when I don't think the end result will be "good enough."
Hmmmm....I wonder - how often do I approach life this way? Only adopting pursuits I feel confident I can achieve? Deciding for myself which paths I think are best for me and then trekking off in that direction, even if it means prying open closed doors? Saying that I have faith in God, and yet somehow not having enough faith in myself to rest peacefully in the faith of life laid in the Master's Hands? Needing to understand to the point that the first glimmer I have that a certain path might be the way to go, I take off down that road without a backward glance, perhaps never noticing that there was a detour full of open doors that was my real path?
It reminds me of a story I heard somewhere along the way growing up, and goes back to the whole "crafty" side of things. One craft that I do enjoy occasionally in very small doses (we're talking bookmark-sized doses) is cross-stitching. My sister taught me to cross-stitch in one of those far too infrequent adolescent moments when we got along. Now my sister? She hasn't cross-stitched much in several years as her interests have moved on, but she could create a beautiful piece of cross-stitch art. She would take on these massive projects - huge framed works that would take her months to complete. They were impressive. What's interesting, though, is that the backsides of her projects were almost as impressive as the fronts. Don't get me wrong - the picture was still only complete and recognizable on the front. Yet the back was always neat, with precise lines of thread, tidy little knots - uniform in its own methodical way.
My cross-stitch projects? Of course I'm going to be harder on myself than I should, but I will also be honest - you would laugh if you saw the backs. Seriously. You would. The fronts always turn out just as they should. But the backs are a mess! I always tried to start out with neat, uniform rows; but soon enough, the moment would come when I realized that I'd forgotten a stitch and instead of tying off and starting anew with that row, I'd just move directly to it and keep going. My knots have never been stellar and I rarely trusted they would hold so often ran my needle through the past few threads just to reinforce it a little bit before tying off. The result? A hodge podge of messy threads of various colors, a nonsensical jumble of confusion - one that I always made sure to hide with a back of some sort.
That brings me back to the story - it was something about a granddaughter talking to her grandmother about how she was confused in life and just couldn't understand the "big picture" or plan that God had in mind for her. The grandmother picks up her current cross-stitch project and, showing her granddaughter the back side, asks her what she thinks about it. The girl chuckles and says that it's the back so it doesn't matter. The grandmother chuckles before replying that the back definitely matters because without it, the beautiful picture on the front could not exist. Then she pauses before she eloquently begins to weave words together explaining that what we see of our lives is, for the most part, the back side. We see the directions, the beginnings, the endings, sometimes even the messes - and many times we don't understand what we're seeing. Then the grandmother moves on to explain that what God sees is the front side, the beautiful picture of our lives that He is creating. She goes on to say that when we embrace our perspective as it is, God is able to do His work and continue stitching the story of our lives - often giving us glimpses of that "big picture" of the front. Yet too often we get lost in our short-sightedness and grab the needle away from God, making our own stitches and carving our own paths. In all this, God is still willing to work the "big picture" for His good, but perhaps not in the same manner and often requiring the pain of stitches being removed or a longer timeline before certain pieces of the picture are complete.
I always thought this was a beautiful story and now, combining that with these two quotes and the murmurings of my heart, I am so overwhelmed with the wonderful omniscience and perfection of my glorious Savior. I am human, weak and frail ... far too often grabbing the needle and prying open the doors ... may I learn to let go and trust my God who knows far better than I what steps my feet must take. And, on a lighter note, may I embrace my less-than-perfect crafty endeavors for the tiny gems that they are. :-)
~ Father, give me the patience and the faith to let You open the doors, to let You hold the needle, even when I can't follow the pattern or decipher your plan. ~
"If you can't pray a door open, don't pry it open." ~ Lyell Rader
When I stumbled across this quotation earlier in the week, I chuckled. It was so short and almost cute in its directness. Yet as the week has gone on I've realized these were some of the very words my human mind needed to grasp hold of and use to point me purposefully into God's Word. This morning, I happened to google Rader's name because I have never heard of him. I found little beyond one additional quote. This time, the quote made me chuckle just because it was another perfect hit:
"Faith grows only in the dark. You've got to trust him when you can't trace him. That's faith." ~ Lyell Rader
Coupling these together makes me wonder - how many times have I tried to "help" God out by prying open a door that He never intended to be open in my life in the first place? I think over the course of the last decade and can't help but recognize that I have probably caused myself a great deal of pain and confusion by my own hand. True, with each struggle comes a lesson learned - but I am convicted to know that I would dare be so confident in my ability to comprehend God's will several steps down the road - so confident, in fact, that I would jump ahead of Him and step into what I "knew" to be the right path. How foolish I have been so many times! Sometimes in small things and sometimes in bigger things, but regardless, how absurd is it to think that I as a mere human could even begin to understand the grandeur and the will of an incomprehensible God!!
Those of you who know my family also know that my Mom and sister are both incredibly talented in almost anything in the creative world - drawing, cross-stitch, knitting, crochet, sewing, and so many more. Their interests are varied, yet their talent is unmistakable. I, on the other hand, am mediocre at best in any of these pursuits. I'd like to say that it's because I don't have the attention span for it and while that may be partially true (I have this need to move through a "to do" list quickly - long craft projects tend to bore me after a few days), I think that the real reason is because I am way too much a perfectionist. I have a hard time tackling projects with real commitment when I don't think the end result will be "good enough."
Hmmmm....I wonder - how often do I approach life this way? Only adopting pursuits I feel confident I can achieve? Deciding for myself which paths I think are best for me and then trekking off in that direction, even if it means prying open closed doors? Saying that I have faith in God, and yet somehow not having enough faith in myself to rest peacefully in the faith of life laid in the Master's Hands? Needing to understand to the point that the first glimmer I have that a certain path might be the way to go, I take off down that road without a backward glance, perhaps never noticing that there was a detour full of open doors that was my real path?
It reminds me of a story I heard somewhere along the way growing up, and goes back to the whole "crafty" side of things. One craft that I do enjoy occasionally in very small doses (we're talking bookmark-sized doses) is cross-stitching. My sister taught me to cross-stitch in one of those far too infrequent adolescent moments when we got along. Now my sister? She hasn't cross-stitched much in several years as her interests have moved on, but she could create a beautiful piece of cross-stitch art. She would take on these massive projects - huge framed works that would take her months to complete. They were impressive. What's interesting, though, is that the backsides of her projects were almost as impressive as the fronts. Don't get me wrong - the picture was still only complete and recognizable on the front. Yet the back was always neat, with precise lines of thread, tidy little knots - uniform in its own methodical way.
My cross-stitch projects? Of course I'm going to be harder on myself than I should, but I will also be honest - you would laugh if you saw the backs. Seriously. You would. The fronts always turn out just as they should. But the backs are a mess! I always tried to start out with neat, uniform rows; but soon enough, the moment would come when I realized that I'd forgotten a stitch and instead of tying off and starting anew with that row, I'd just move directly to it and keep going. My knots have never been stellar and I rarely trusted they would hold so often ran my needle through the past few threads just to reinforce it a little bit before tying off. The result? A hodge podge of messy threads of various colors, a nonsensical jumble of confusion - one that I always made sure to hide with a back of some sort.
That brings me back to the story - it was something about a granddaughter talking to her grandmother about how she was confused in life and just couldn't understand the "big picture" or plan that God had in mind for her. The grandmother picks up her current cross-stitch project and, showing her granddaughter the back side, asks her what she thinks about it. The girl chuckles and says that it's the back so it doesn't matter. The grandmother chuckles before replying that the back definitely matters because without it, the beautiful picture on the front could not exist. Then she pauses before she eloquently begins to weave words together explaining that what we see of our lives is, for the most part, the back side. We see the directions, the beginnings, the endings, sometimes even the messes - and many times we don't understand what we're seeing. Then the grandmother moves on to explain that what God sees is the front side, the beautiful picture of our lives that He is creating. She goes on to say that when we embrace our perspective as it is, God is able to do His work and continue stitching the story of our lives - often giving us glimpses of that "big picture" of the front. Yet too often we get lost in our short-sightedness and grab the needle away from God, making our own stitches and carving our own paths. In all this, God is still willing to work the "big picture" for His good, but perhaps not in the same manner and often requiring the pain of stitches being removed or a longer timeline before certain pieces of the picture are complete.
I always thought this was a beautiful story and now, combining that with these two quotes and the murmurings of my heart, I am so overwhelmed with the wonderful omniscience and perfection of my glorious Savior. I am human, weak and frail ... far too often grabbing the needle and prying open the doors ... may I learn to let go and trust my God who knows far better than I what steps my feet must take. And, on a lighter note, may I embrace my less-than-perfect crafty endeavors for the tiny gems that they are. :-)
~ Father, give me the patience and the faith to let You open the doors, to let You hold the needle, even when I can't follow the pattern or decipher your plan. ~
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